By the time I finally stopped to listen, I barely knew who she was.

My body and I were alienated from one another, me having missed the messages of stress and overwhelm she had been sending me for years. Instead of slowing down to hear her, I was more concerned with the emerging cellulite that came with each baby, the way I barely recognized myself after they were born, and the anxiety around simply not knowing how to feel confident in a swimsuit anymore.

I didn’t feel like myself, and the only thing I knew to blame, or fix, was my body.

There are some mornings (okay, most of them) where I wake up and the first thing I think of is whatever is stressing me out the most. I’ll wonder, Are this month’s business numbers shaping up? How are my daughters still asleep? Are they okay? Is X person frustrated that I haven’t gotten back to them yet? How am I going to finish X project on time? Why does my body feel so heavy right now? Are my clients okay? What is today’s plan for social media? For email? For content planning?

… and on it goes. Until it doesn’t anymore.